Island Bound

The last couple of days have almost really been on long day.

I left Blanding on the sixteenth at six pm. I wanted to spend as much time as possible at home before heading out to Hawaii. So, I stayed, we enjoyed the time together, and I left.

Whilst driving, I think it might have been between Tuba City and Flagstaff, I picked up an FM station that seemed to be Native-run. I have listened to the AM Navajo station (660am), but this was new so I figured I'd listen to it. After a short while I started hearing these commercials that went something like:

"Imagine you're locked outside in the freezing cold, with only a thin coat to keep you warm.
You call out to your family, but they ignore you. You shiver and do the best to keep warm as frost bite sets in..."

At this point I'm thinking it's going to be a PSA about elder-neglect, or homelessness, etc. Nope. It's a PETA add reminding people to bring their pets in when it gets cold outside. This sounds like something one would do anyways, but what made me laugh is that this PSA was targeted at Native Americans (since it was on a Native-run station). For those not in the know, many tribes, especially the Navajo, don't bring their animals in. Ever. it's just a thing, no animals in the house. I don't care if it's ten below freezing outside and snowing like a bitch, you'll still see the dogs roaming about; the cats hiding; donkeys, horses, and cows playing on the highway just begging to be run over.

Anyhoo, I knew when I hit Phoenix proper because not only had I been driving for six hours, but the ghetto bird was there to greet me, overhead and circling while looking for who-knows-what.


I found my hotel easily enough, it was right of the freeway. After checking in, I headed upstairs, where I found a fairly uncomfortably-heated (seventy-eight effing degrees!) and overly-scented room. Apparently, no one has ever told Raddison that A) A hotel room in Phoenix should never (with nary an exception) be warmer than the temperature outside, and B) A little baby powder goes a long way, a shit-ton is stifling. After setting the thermostat for sixty-two, and airing out the room, I pulled out only what I would need for the next morning, gawked at the price of a bottle of water, and realized I left something in my car. So I headed back downstairs to my car, retrieved the forgotten item, and returned inside to wait for the elevator to take me to my floor (the fifth).

There are good wines cheaper than this bottle of water.

When it arrived, I stepped into the car along with a gentleman and what I think were his two children. They went up to the second floor and got out. The doors closed and...nothing. The buttons for the requested floors were pressed again. Nothing. Then the buttons for the unrequested floors. Nothing. Then the door-close button, followed by the door-open button. Nothing. Then, maybe two minutes after this started, a buzzer started going off. A loud, annoying, shrill buzzer. Finally, after eight more minutes of being trapped in an elevator for the first time, and just as I was starting to entertain thoughts of being stuck in an elevator all night, the car jolted, the buzzer stopped, and normal elevator service resumed.

When I (finally) got back to my room, I set my blackberry to a new time zone, since Arizona is one hour behind Utah right now. This caused an issue. My Blackberry, and I think all Blackberries in general, do not reset the clock display to whatever the local time is, it just stays on the time zone you set it at. I changed the time on my BB, but didn't change the time zone. At some point, the internal software said, "No dumbass, that's not the right time for that zone!" and reset itself. I figured this out when I got to the airport and realized that my BB was exactly an hour ahead of the time on the monitors. Oh well, what's an hour of sleep? After all, I have a six hour flight to Honolulu, I could sleep then. Onwards and upwards.On the plus side, I got a killer spot in the economy parking lot.

Here's a fun little ditty I just learned about Sky Harbor terminal number three: If you want a decent cup of coffee or decent food, you had better get it before you go through TSA, as the only thing on the "secure" side (think of those quotations as me doing air-quotations with my fingers) of the terminal is some independent, over-priced, nasty food making "Cafe". (again, air-quotations).

I was standing in line at this little slice of heaven in PHX when I saw an elderly lady behind the counter grab a milk carton full of "egg product" (not air-quotations, that's literally what it said), pour it on a griddle, and make "scrambled eggs" (ok, air quotations again). Once she had compiled a heap of these alleged scrambled eggs, she looks at the cashier and says with all the pride of a four year old in an inappropriately loud voice, "LOOK! I DID GOOD! I DID GOOD!!" Hand to God, I am not making this up.

So, one crappy cup of coffee and side-show later, I was off to my terminal to sit, sip some seriously suboptimal coffee, watch all the Amflight planes depart, and wait for my ride to Hawaii to arrive; a Hawaiian Airlines Boeing 767-300ER, named "'Akekeke". "'Akekeke" is a bird apparently, a Ruddy Turnstone (Arenaria interpres).

Neither ruddy, nor small.

Once aboard I was happy to find that my aisle seat had a bulkhead behind it so I didn't have to worry about anyone kicking my seat. I have never flown Hawaiian Airlines before, and found it quite a pleasant experience. There was an actual meal served (breakfast burritos with a muffin), snacks, and several rounds of soft drinks. Of course they still work you over for checking a bag ($25), buying alcohol ($6.50/drink), etc, etc. Oh, also of note, HAL is cashless - if you want to buy something it's got to be done with a credit or debit/ATM card.

Something else I noticed while waiting to board, and while boarding as well: Something like 90-95% of the passengers were old people. Is Hawaii the new Florida or something? Was there a retirement home discount day? I'm not complaining, as it might actually mean I have work to do while in the islands, but I can't help but wonder.

six hours after departing, we landed in HNL. My first impression upon exiting the aircraft/entering the jet way is that it smells not unlike Long Beach: slightly musty and fairly salty. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I don't think it was that. I also got my first look at one of the islands (I had an aisle seat in the middle row, so I didn't get a whole lot of window time).

My first view of Honolulu

Once on the ground, I found my self starving and realized it have been like four hours since I ate anything, and closer to 14 since I ate an actual meal. Don't get me wrong, the complimentary meal on-board the plane was cool, but it was still an airplane portion of airplane food. One of the options in the terminal was Chinese, so I hit it up. Turned out to be a good choice, so good in fact that in hour six of my seven-hour layover, I ate it again. I tired something new as well, call chow fun. Its not unlike chow mein, though it doesn't seem fried, and the noodles are about an inch wide. It's pretty damn good, I recommend it.

Clockwise from the eggroll: Chinese pork, chow mein, chow fun, mushroom chicken.

Here's another fun little fact I learned: Hawaii apparently has their own brand of bottled water.

Seriously, this stuff is everywhere.

I'm gonna go all Seinfeld for a minute here: What is the deal with airport restaurants? Why can't they look at a damned departure/arrival schedule, and figure out when to expect crowds? It seems like everytime I'm at an airport restaurant the staff is either overwhelmed due to not enough people being scheduled, or they're mostly standing around waiting to leave since nothing is going on. OK, done.

While waiting, I saw a gentleman who was distinctly Polynesian: He was wearing what appeared to be a grass skirt over a pin-striped sarong with a matching jacket.

Hardcore Hawaiian.

After about seven hours in HNL, my connecting flight to Lihue (pronounced "le-huey") departed. This gave me a new view of the mountains, as the angle was different as well as the position of the sun.

My second view of Honolulu.

It only took about thirty minutes total to get to LIH, and that was spent mostly climbing and descending. I finally got a good look at what I was about to flying from.

My first look at Kaua'i

This time when I walked of the plane, I was greeted by a far better smell: Jasmine, a lot of it too. I think it may have been air freshener though, as when I got outside I could no longer smell it and I never did see huge hedges of Jasmine that would be needed to make that strong of an odor,

HAL is efficient: my luggage was waiting for me on the carousel when I got to the baggage claim. Not bad considering it took me maybe a whole of five minutes to traverse the terminal.

The drive to the crew house was short, and the crew house is quite comfortable.

My home and car for the next three days.

Though it does pale a bit in comparison to the property owners' house.

The property owners house.

I'm hoping to get quite a few more pictures today. My flight nurse was telling me there's a lot of stuff within twenty minutes of the airport, so I may go take pictures of some stuff.