Tragedy and Terror

Yesterday Stacey called me to ask my thoughts on adopting an orphaned kitten, of course I said it'd probably be fine.

It's mother was apparently roadkill, and there were some ravens looking to make a meal of this little kitten. So Stacey brought it in, set it up in the bathroom, showed it to the girls, introduced it to RJ, etc.

A furball with blue eyes.

Then this morning I wake up to a txt message saying the kitten was at the vet, and it's death possibly imminent. Apparently, the girls took the kitten outside to the grass and were playing with it (and very carefully I might add). For whatever reason, RJ decided it was a play toy and started chewing on it. Needless to say, this left it in a bad way. Stacey took it to the vet who thought it may have a punctured lung. However, the kitten made it all the way through the day, and so the new possible prognosis is broken rib(s). If the kitten makes it through the night, we should know more in the morning.

After all that drama, going back to sleep was going to be a no-go, so I just got up. I spent most of the day bumming around the crew house. I wanted to get out today, but was kinda tired and just couldn't get motivated, so I'll try again tomorrow.

When I went to shower, I noticed I had a little friend. At first it was a little odd being watched while I showered, the gecko content to stay right where it was, but I got over it pretty quick.

"Whoa, slow down there cowboy, I came to see a show..."

Other than that the day was pretty uneventful. The most I've really done all day is cut up a pineapple and do a few dishes.

However, tonight has been a different story.

It started while I was sitting on the couch watching a movie on Netflix. Something on the floor was moving, so I looked up to see what it was: lo and behold it was a centipede, a Scolopendra subspinipes. I was a little surprised as I hadn't seen one yet, but was intrigued at the same time. But as I got up to get my camera it must have seen me, because it spooked and ran right back under the kitchen cabinet it had come from. I went ahead and grabbed my camera anyways and sat back down.

As it turns out this was a good idea. I was changing TV channels when I saw the centipede re-emerge from it's hidey hole. I imagine that while it was in there it got all indignant at my presence and probably though to itself "Ima bite that fat bastard out there, cause I'm a centipede for f---'s sake!" (Centipedes are exceptionally foul-mouthed insects, or maybe it's foul-mandibled, I really don't know. Either way, their grammar and wordage is crude.)

I came to this conclusion when the critter crossed about ten feet in less than two seconds, and did it in a straight line to the couch, specifically my end of the couch. Without thinking about it too much, and not making a noise (I figured it could already see me, maybe if I could get in it's blind spot it wouldn't know I was there if I could be quiet...), I took the only weapon at hand...

Well, technically it was in my hand.

...and brought it squarely down right behind the head on this bastard, :

Maybe it just wanted a hug. Or maybe someone's first-born child, I didn't stop to ask.

While it was realizing it was maybe not the best decision to hunt the deadliest game of all (man), I heard a clicking noise. That's when I noticed this destroyer of innocence had pointed is ass end straight up, and was trying to dig into the controller with those elongated legs on it's rear end.

These elongated ass-legs are sharp and seem to have a mind of their own.

Now I know someone is going to say, "It's not very big, it's just slightly wider than the grout lines in the tile!" So I took a picture next to my Blackberry Curve for perspective.

It's as long as a BB Curve (about four-and-a-quarter inches). Those ass-legs are about three-quarters of an inch.

The scariest part was when I took a close up of it's head as it lay dying on the floor.

Pictured: what nightmares are made of.

Those small looking, black tipped things on the front? Venomous jaws capable of causing excruciating pain for hours. So glad I managed to crush it right behind the head instead of catching it towards the rear. I mean, I had the distance battle won with the remote (I had at least six inches of reach on it), but still.

Stacey will be here in less than fourty-eight hours (approximately thirty-seven hours at the time this is being written). It'll be nice to see her for the first time in about a month. Hopefully the kitten pulls through, but I'm not going to be overly optimistic on that just because, well, shit happens.